


Speak the Shame of Eternal Rage

by Eli0t



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: Asexual Andy Biersack, Asexual Character, Gift Fic, Heartwarming, I was literally told "I didn't expect it to go so heartwarming as it did", M/M, Supportive Ashley Purdy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 17:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eli0t/pseuds/Eli0t
Summary: Ashley meets Andy for the first time to try to steal his bandmates for his own band.  He isn't entirely sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't Andy.





	Speak the Shame of Eternal Rage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [infiniteworld8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteworld8/gifts).

Ash really wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he showed up at the address he was given over the phone to meet this band. He definitely wasn’t expecting a young guy who was basically sex on legs to open the door and usher him inside saying “Hey, you’re Ashley? Cool, come on in and meet the rest of the band. You play bass right? We need a bass player, and you look like you would fit in with our whole aesthetic.” He let himself be pulled inside by the guy—Andy?—nodding along at the right places.   
  
“Alright, this is Sandra. She plays drums, and I’m Andy. Andy Sixx. Sandra, this is Ashley. He says he plays bass.” 

“Nice to meet you, Ashley,” Sandra said, shaking Ashley’s hand, “Let’s see what you’ve got?”  
  
\--   
  
The audition went well, and Sandra left, leaving Andy and Ash alone, talking about design choices, fashion aesthetics, and the general sound they were planning to go for. Ash had been planning to try stealing Andy’s band members for his own band, but the longer they spoke, the more Ashley wanted in on this band instead. It honestly sounded really fucking awesome. It didn’t help that Andy had this deep voice that went straight down Ash’s spine and directly to his dick. Ashley definitely caught himself staring at the dude a few times and felt horrible every time because Andy might have been 19, but he may as well have been 16 with how immature he could be at moments. That, and Ashley still wasn’t sure if he was even actually into guys or if it was more of a passing thought of ‘What If?’. Still, he could listen to Andy talk for hours about whatever and wouldn’t complain. 

The other thing was that Andy kept fucking, _ flirting _ . Just little things here and there. When they started talking about what they would wear, Andy mentioned how certain colors would _ compliment his eyes _ . And when they were discussing how they’ll do their makeup, Andy grabbing his face and pulled it close to his, maybe an inch from his lips, and said “You would look fucking great with cat stripes here and here and here”, pointing to various places on his cheeks and chin. They even discussed _ stage gay _ , and Andy said “I’d be down with some things with you. Make the fangirls scream and everything just from a kiss or whatever.” Which just. What is that? Who just says things like that? Especially guys who already look and sound like Andy does? 

Ashley left the place feeling like he needed to get home and jerk off about four times, and also like he might have just joined the band that he has been looking for, for so long.   
  
\--   
  
The first time they get up on stage came faster than Ashley anticipated. And it wasn't long until they were playing shows regularly and signed to a label. Then Andy broke his ribs. The rest of the band stayed on tour, doing signings and meeting fans while Andy recovered, and before long he was back on stage, with binding over his chest to keep from falling apart again. Ashley was a little worried about the guy but he seemed to be doing well enough. 

It came as a surprise to Ash though when Andy made good on that ‘promise’ from all those months ago, and started playing up the sex, humping the stage, kissing Ash, and generally looking like he was asking for someone, _ anyone _ to come fuck him right there on stage. Even more surprising to Ashley was when somewhere during the tour Andy had taken to sitting in Ash’s lap on the tour bus couch, and cuddling up to him when the band watched movies. 

  
Less surprising was the first time Andy kissed him. It was nearing the end of the tour and Andy had been sitting in Ash’s lap, just. Talking about whatever was on his mind. Ash had tuned out a bit on the conversation if he was being honest, letting Andy’s voice lull him in an easy rest, not quite dozing off. As he was talking though, Andy had been inching his face closer and closer to Ashley’s, and finally closed the gap, after Ash nodded into the silence that had fallen over them. Ashley could feel Andy’s stubble from the tiny hairs that refused to grow in fully, yet just enough Andy had to shave occasionally, against his chin, tickling him more than anything. When they broke apart, Andy gave him a look like he was absolutely shocked at what he had just done, and started scrambling to get out of Ash’s lap. 

  
“Fuck, sorry. Sorry. I. Fuck.” Andy was mumbling and stumbling over his words as he was pushing back, tripping over his own limbs.   
  
“Hey.” Ashley gripped Andy’s arms, steadying the thinner guy “It’s cool. No need to like, freak out.”   
  
Andy pulled his arms out of Ash’s grip, “You don’t— You don’t understand. I…,” he trailed off, looking away from Ash like he was trying to find somewhere to run and hide. Sadly for him they were currently on the bus hurtling down a highway in the middle of the night, so there weren’t many places to go besides his own bunk in the back with the rest of the guys.   
  
“What don’t I understand? How about we sit and talk about this dude? It’s not like we really have a lot of choices on places to go right now anyways.” Ash moved to sit back down on the couch, patting the spot next to him motioning for Andy to sit.   
  
Andy sat on the opposite side of the couch, curling in as small of a ball as he could. “I… I don’t…” Andy buried his face in his hands, crying a bit. 

Ash wasn’t entirely sure what to do, so he inched closer and slowly, so Andy could see what he was doing, put his hand on the back of Andy’s head. “Hey. It’s okay. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out okay?”   
  
Andy mumbled something into his hands that sounded a little like “mule hate knees” but Ashley could figure out what Andy meant.   
  
“Dude. You’re my singer. I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon. I certainly won’t hate you, come on. You know me, I’m like, the most laid back person you know.”   
  
Andy lifted his face from his hands at that, whispering, “You’ll still think I’m weird.”   
  
“I already think you’re weird dude. We all are. Just tell me so we can figure it out and move past this. I can’t exactly help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” Ashley pat Andy’s knee once, then tipped Andy’s face upwards with his fingertips gently, “You can tell me anything.” 

Andy’s face flamed red for a second at Ash’s gentle touch, and then he started “I… I don’t…” He swallowed a few times before ending in a rush “Idon’tlikesex.”  
  
Ash’s face fell a little not expecting that answer, then moved his hand from Andy’s chin to the side of his face. “Okay. So you don’t have sex. It’s okay.” Ashley was trying to be gentle with Andy, knowing how fragile the guy can be sometimes. If Ash was being honest, he couldn’t really imagine not wanting sex, but he wasn’t about to think Andy was like, making it up or something, what with how upset he obviously was about it all. Before he could continue comforting the guy though, he needed one question answered first. “Did you freak out because of the kiss, or because you were worried I’d try to do more and you didn’t want that?”   
  
Andy’s eyes were still welling with tears, but he seemed to be a little better than he had been a few moments before. When he went to speak however, his voice cracked “I—” Swallowing, he retried, “I… The second one. Kissing you was nice, but then I— I thought about our positions, and realised how close we were, and how easily it would be for you to trap me there and take my clothes off, and I just… It was too much.”   
  
Ashley leaned forward very slowly and stopped inches from Andy’s face, when Andy nodded, Ash kissed the line where Andy’s hair met his forehead. “I won’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” Ash had this little voice in the back of his head saying that their conversation had taken a turn towards actually having a relationship and _ that _ terrified Ashley to no end, but at the same time, in the past months he had really grown to like the guy currently balled up on the couch in front of him, even if he was a little immature at times. That still freaked Ash out a little, how young Andy actually was, but the longer they spent together, the more it seemed insignificant. “You want a hug?” he said, opening his arms to let Andy in if he wished.   
  
Andy sat up and buried his face in Ash’s neck, wrapping his arms around him and letting himself be enveloped by Ashley’s strong arms. He had really come to love being held by the other man, even if it made him panicky at times. “I… Would this even really work, Ash? I know you, you’re like, the first person in this band to get naked with someone. You really wouldn’t push me to have sex with you after a little while?”   
  
Ashley knew that the question was fair. He knew that it was coming too. He even wondered at the answer himself a bit. But before he could answer, Andy pulled back, looking Ash right in the eyes and continued.   
  
“I’m not going to stop you from sleeping with the fangirls, or porn stars, or whoever it is you’ve picked up from the bar. I just— I need to know that you won’t try to pressure _ me _ to do things I’m not comfortable with. And that you’ll… I don’t know, come back after a shower? I just… I want you, but I also don’t want to keep you from being you.”   
  
Ashley kept his face straight as he spoke. “I don’t want to hurt you. I definitely don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want. I’ll be honest and say that I have no clue if we’ll work out or not, but I’m… willing to try.” Ash felt himself really meaning it as he said those words, before continuing, “Are you sure you’d be okay with me still fucking random girls along the tour? Or are you just trying to force yourself to be okay with it because you think you can’t have me without it?” Ashley was really hoping it was the first one, but didn’t let anything show on his face.   
  
Luckily, Andy was nodding before Ash had even finished, “I’m 100% percent okay with it. Just be safe, don’t anyone pregnant, and maybe shower before you come cuddle with me afterwards? I don’t want all of those… _ fluids _ anywhere near me.” Andy leaned forwards, stopping just a hair away from Ashley’s lips. “Kiss me.”   
  
Ashley didn’t even think about it and closed the small distance, bringing his hands to Andy’s soft hair and holding him there, letting his mouth move against Andy’s in a dizzying kiss. If any part of Ashley was uncertain if he actually liked guys still, that part was thoroughly dead the second Andy’s hands made their way up to Ash’s cheeks and held them between his hands, kissing away Ash’s breath.   
  
They stayed like that for a moment longer before Ashley pulled back, sucking in a deep breath. “Fuck. Okay. That was… very nice, and now you should come cuddle with me and doze because I am exhausted, we have an interview to do in...,“ he trailed off, looking at a nearby clock, “3 hours, and if you keep kissing me like that, I’ll have to go off to my bunk and jerk off before I can sleep, and I’d much rather fall asleep holding you.” Ashley really hoped the comment about jerking off wouldn’t send Andy scrambling back again. Ash’s fears were assuaged when Andy smiled brilliantly up at him, and then tackling him backwards onto the rest of the couch. Rearranging their limbs around each other, Ashley tucked Andy into himself like he needed to be protected, then pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and over them.   
  
Andy settled quietly, letting the sounds of the bus on the road gently lull him gently. He pressed up against Ashley one last time and silently kissed him before settling back into his arms and letting himself fall asleep.   
  
Ashley smiled to himself as he watched Andy’s sleeping face, thinking about how he looked like a fallen angel, and wondering how he got lucky enough to be able to kiss the top of his head and whisper “Goodnight”. It was only a few minutes before Ash fell asleep too, enjoying the feeling of Andy against him.


End file.
